BEST OF AKPOS-JOKE

BEST OF AKPOS-JOKE
.
.
.

(1.) A Lady Lawyer holds
Akpos dick out as
evidence saying "ur
Honour can this tiny tin
Rape"?..
Akpors;*whisper s*
Don't shake it, we may
lose d case.

(2.) A Doctor was giving
a speech on alcohol..
DOC; People, you know
alcohol kills slowly...
Akpos; Who told you we
are in a hurry to die?

(3.)Teacher; Does
anyone else have a
question about the 9
planets.
Akpos; Yes,where is
urANUS...

(4.) Question; Whats the
biggest thing u can do
for ur Love?..
EKAETTE; I will die for u,
wat about u?..
Akpors; I ll cry when
you die.

(5.) Police; Sir, this is non
smoking zone...
Akpors; Ah! am not
smoking 'Zone', its
'Marijuana' that is how
you people lie on
someone.

(6.) Teacher; What do
you call a pot of watery
egusi soup?..
Akpors; Watermelon

(7.) Sule; Bros y u dey
wrap ur phone wit black
handkerchief?
Akpors; Rukewe dey
owe me money so I dey
hide my number
before I call am

(8.) Teacher; Akpors
finish this
sentence.."Many are
called but ........."?
Akpors; But only few
have credit to call back.

(9.) Akpors:
1,2,3,4,6,7,8,9 ..
TEACHER; Where is 5?.
Akpors; Yesterday, I
heard on the news that
5 died in a Car accident.

(10.) Police; Ur wife had
an accident, plz come &
identify d body..
Akpors; I'm busy, take
a pix & tag me on
FACEBOOK, If it's
her I ll click 'LIKE'

(11.) Police; Where do u
live?.
Akpors; Wit my parents.
Police; Where do they
live?.
Akpors; Wit me.
Police; So where do u all
live?.
Akpors; 2geda

(12.) Teacher: Who are
the IDIOTS talking oya
stand up, only
akpors stood up..
Teacher; So u are the
Idiot?..
Akpors; No Ma, I just
can't bear u standing up
alone.

(13.) Papa Akpors; How
did your exam go?..
Akpors; They gave me
questions that I don't
know so I
wrote answers which
they won't know

(14.) Teacher; If i have
16 Sweets & I licked 14,
what do I have left?..
Akpors; Diabetes Ma

(15.) Akpors: Went to
the hospital to complain;
" Doc i play football in
my dream every nite..
Doc; Take this tablet,u ll
be ok..
Akpors; Can I take it
tomorrow, bcos 2nite is
the final game 

(16.) Presenter; Mr
Akpors, what advice do
you have for your fans
in 2013
Akpors; If Two wrongs
don't make a right, try
three

(17.) Teacher; Name the
types of wood we
have..
Akpors; Fire-
wood,Nolly -wood,
Bolly-wood and Holly-
wood

(18.) Madam; Hope junior
has eaten?..
Akpors; Yes Ma, I even
added small dettol
inside his drinking water
to kill the germs... bcos
if I don't take care of
him who will
Madam: Fainted...

(19.) Teacher; Why do

you always see lightning
first and hear the
thunder later?.. Akpos;
Because your eyes are
in front of
your ears

Which one is the best???

Lagos State Govt shuts down Lord’s Chosen Church Headquarters

The Headquarters of popular Lagos church Lord's Chosen and Charismatic Revival Church, founded by Pastor Lazarus Muoka, has been sealed off by the Lagos State Government for allegedly defacing and constituting environmental nuisance to its environment.

The church, located in Ijesha on Oshodi-Apapa Expressway in Lagos, was shut down on Sunday Oct. 6th by officials of the Ministry of the Environment and prevented thousands of worshipers from having their Sunday service that morning.

The Commissioner for the Environment, Mr. Tunji Bello, explained why the Church was shut down

 “The Church does not have proper sanitary system and they discharge their wastes into the canal. Most of their members trade on the expressway and we don’t want that"he said

The commissioner also said the church had a habit of burning its refuse inside the church, an action that is against the environmental and sanitation law of the state. He said the church will be re-opened only after it builds new toilets, build a sewage septic tank for the treatment of waste water, remove all illegal attachments built on drainage channels, keep the environment clean and ensure that none of its members trade on the expressway.

Photos: Funke Akindele & Mercy Johnson mess around on set

Funke Akindele and Mercy Johnson Okojie are currently working together on a movie. Funke posted some location pics on her instagram page today, which shows the actresses having fun while filming. See more photos after the cut...

Davido gives $3, 000 to the winner of the Skelewu dance competiton

A good day for Mr Kiddy Mizzy. Congrats to him...meanwhile a 20 year old is calling someone a kid. ..lol, 

'How Flavour & Emeka Morgan abandoned MC Loph's mum' -Bianka Johnson write

Like all one-sided stories/write-ups, please read with an open mind. Bianka Johnson, who is kinda in the movie industry, today sent out something she wrote about how high life crooner Flavour and Morgan Ent. CEO Emeka Morgan, supposedly abandoned MC Loph's mother (pictured above with Bianca) after her son died in a tragic accident in 2011. Flavour and MC Loph were childhood friends while Emeka Morgan is the CEO of the record label MC Loph was signed to before his tragic passing. Find Bianca's write up below...

My name is Bianka Johnson, I reside in the United States of America. I am from Nigeria, a healthcare practitioner, actors-manager and a goodwill citizen. Flavour Nabania didn't make a tribute song "Iwe", he made a mockery of his friend, the late McLoph. Below is my story.

Tragedy brought us together.... That's how I came to know Mrs. Nwaozor, affectionately known to me as "Mama." Back in November 2011, someone posted a tribute video, "Iwe", by Flavor, on Facebook. On that day I distinctly remember viewing the video on YouTube and sobbing for over an hour after watching this video that paid homage to two siblings who so suddenly lost their lives. I was simply paralyzed thinking about the magnitude of grief one particular mother would have to endure. You see, Mama was the mother who lost those two adult children on the same day, specifically, a son, the erstwhile entertainer, MC Loph, and a daughter, Chinwe.

John Dumelo donates supplies to deprived school in Cameroon

This is the second country outside Ghana that the actor and fashion entrepreneur has expanded operations to. He has also been in Sierra Leone, where he did similar donations about 3 months ago. In Ghana, he has donated to schools in rural areas including the North, Eastern, Western And Central Regions.

According to John, “I also started the John Dumelo Scholarship Scheme for university students starting with the University of Ghana last year. Hopefully more students will be included in this scheme in the coming academic years.” 

So far all the activities of the foundation in the last 5 years of existence have been self-funded by John Dumelo.

Sex at an early age made Chris Brown a beast in the bedroom

No wonder Rihanna & Karrueche want to die there. Hehe. In a recent interview Chris Brown recalls losing his virginity at age eight and how it made him a beast in the bedroom...

From The Guardian

He lost his virginity when he was eight years old, to a local girl who was 14 or 15. Seriously? "Yeah, really. Uh-huh." He grins and chuckles. "It's different in the country." Brown grew up with a great gang of boy cousins, and they watched so much porn that he was raring to go. "By that point, we were already kind of like hot to trot, you know what I'm saying? Like, girls, we weren't afraid to talk to them; I wasn't afraid. So, at eight, being able to do it, it kind of preps you for the long run, so you can be a beast at it. You can be the best at it." (Now 24, he doesn't want to say how many women he's slept with: "But you know how Prince had a lot of girls back in the day? Prince was, like, the guy. I'm just that, today. But most women won't have any complaints if they've been with me. They can't really complain. It's all good."

Iyanya hacked on Twitter and Facebook

Press statement from Iyanya's Made Men Music Group below..

In the past few hours Nigerian entertainer, Iyanya Mbuk along with his manager Ubi Franklin have been the victims of hacking.

Regrettably, the individual(s) involved have posted false endorsements on Iyanya’s Facebook page and Twitter with the aim of deceiving fans and followers for personal gain, and have maliciously changed Ubi Franklin’s Twitter handle.

We’re currently working with Twitter and Facebook to regain access to the accounts and in the meantime fans can continue to interact with Iyanya via his official Instagram account (@Iyanya).

Iyanya apologises for any inconvenience caused and urges fans to ignore any requests that the hackers might make.

Beverly Osu & Melvin Oduah cover new issue of Complete magazine

In the new issue of Complete Fashion magazine, Beverly talks on her famous acts in the house and what she hopes to achieve in the nearest future. Handsome and talented, Melvin speaks on his life in the BBA house, his plans in the entertainment industry and his life as a model

Flood With Love Campaign with singer, Omawumi

Join Omawumi text FLOOD to 35388 and give N100 to the Flood relief and rehabilitation process. Another pic after the cut...

Singer KCee acquires 2013 Bentley

Just three months after he acquired two brand new cars - a 2013 Range Rover and a 2013 BMW X6, (see itHERE) the singer has added a Bentley to his fleet of cars - the 2013 model. The car came into the country today. Congrats to him...

Davidos mansion

He shared the photo on his instagram page and wrote "OBO mansion. Dreams come true! I remember my room back in Babcock. Small ass f**k. See what 2years & hard work gets you! #Dreamchasers!! We just getting started. 

Get 5OOmb for free on ur airtel sim wit jez dis simple tweak...

Get 5OOmb for free on ur airtel sim wit jez dis simple tweak...


Get 5OOmb for free on
ur airtel sim wit jez dis
simple tweak...

Items needed

1. Airtel simcard

2. Samsung galaxy[be
it tab or not]

3. Hun...hun... Dat's all

how to aktivate it...

1. Scroll 2 ur msg menu

2. Type
" smart" [without
quote in capital letter]
to " 141"

3. You naw gat a msg
telin u dat u'v
succesfully aktivated
d bla....bla...bla....bla...

4. Dial *141*712*O#
to view ur mb...
u gud 2 go...

Note:- it's 5OOmb and
can only b aktivated
on samsumg galaxy
buh can be browsed
wit using any
fone...dat's all

Enjoy.....